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hailstorms) wrote2013-08-18 08:14 pm
hailstorms) wrote2013-08-18 08:14 pm
Entry tags:
[au meme] #9 - alcorei au
~880 words
mizarei
cw for violence
He finds Mizael and watches him, when Mizael comes to the human world. Stares at his human skin with its feathered-up hair and its facial markings and its stupid, fancy clothes.
He’s disgusted by it.
It’s a lonely feeling, the disgust; lonelier even than the resentment that has driven him for so long. He is out from Mizar’s shadow - or rather, out from its light, free to shine unhindered - only to be shrouded instead in the cloying mess that is this human body he’s had to take on. Mizael’s light no longer shines out to hide his own but his has stopped shining, too.
Still.
It’s a good opportunity, isn’t it? Strike while his blinding-star is trapped in the flesh and muck of a human skin - because he’s stuck too, but he has learned the intricacies of humanity and knows Mizael will overestimate and underestimate it in the wrong places - and then when he can return to the song and star-fire that truly composes them, he’ll shine alone and unhindered.
It’s easy enough, in the end, to catch Mizael. He takes down Alit and Gilag - unfortunate, perhaps, collateral, but Alit had connected too well with his subordinate and Gilag... well, that was no different than taking down a rampaging beast in the end, with Gilag’s urge for revenge against the person named by Alit.
(an idiotic mistake, because Mizael’s light - and the need to snuff it out - is as blinding to him as to anyone looking for his starlight in the heavens, and he’d let himself slip in such a basic way because his focus had been too intense)
Well. Unfortunate, but necessary in the end. And then Mizael is easy to lure back to the human world. A stolen Lapis, a brief flash of his fire and he feels it, feels the way Mizael’s light flares at the feel of him even through the worlds and oh, oh, he practically has to tear the Lapis off of himself because he wants to keep it, wants to keep feeling that connection vibrating across the worlds and skittering off their stars and the deep black cold of the universe around them.
(they’re so small, so very tiny and his light sings and sings until it’s a scream and he doesn’t understand, why does it hurt why is it that after such a short time in the human world - barely a second in the star-fire life of a Barian - Mizar’s light has become something he craves rather than the biting, driving force that he once resented with such force?)
(he still wants to rip it from Mizael, still wants to tear into the viscera of Mizael’s human flesh and rip out his still-beating heart to see if his light dwells somewhere within it even in these forms, but after that he wants to fold Mizael’s light into his own and cherish it, rather than the destruction he’d had planned before now)
(that will be fitting though, he tells himself, that his light will become that which blinds Mizar’s light behind it, instead of the reverse)
When his head has stopped ringing and he can open his eyes, Mizael stands before him in the human flesh, wide-eyed and staring, breathes out you and takes a step forward and he’s an idiot, bright and blazing but so stupid.
Stupid because he’s surprised when he’s slammed into the ground. Mizael’s eyes get even wider and his mouth slips open to let out a sharp gasp of pain as his head collides with the dirt.
The ground is hard, and when he reaches behind Mizael’s head to wrench it up, his hand comes away stained with blood. He can’t help, then, but to lift it to his mouth, to taste the evidence of Mizael’s current humanity. To taste the heat, nothing compared to their true fire, the copper-salt taste of humanity’s pain. And then he’s grabbing at Mizael’s face, scoring red lines with his nails into the red marks already there and listening to the way Mizael cries out - such a tuneless, grating noise, nothing like the song it ought to be. He’s biting and clawing and Mizael seems too stunned to fight him off, either by the blow to the head or by the simple fact of who he is - he can’t tell, when he should be able to read it in Mizar’s light like an open book - so he keeps it up, keeps hurting and feels the blood welling up from under his teeth and nails and the way the fabric of Mizael’s clothes rips surprisingly easily in his roaming hands.
(it is good it is too much for his human body but it is good, it is wonderful and--)
And then suddenly he’s aware and it’s not, it’s not, how could he ever have thought something in this stinking, fleshy body were even good, let alone wonderful, so he’s leaping to his feet and taking great staggering steps back and spitting onto the floor and then he’s gone, gone before Mizael can do more than sit up.
(Shingetsu! he hears Mizael cry after him as the portal takes him, and Arkol spits his disgust again when he lands, that Mizael cannot name him by star, even, let alone name, and resorts instead to the name that belongs only to his meat)
mizarei
cw for violence
He finds Mizael and watches him, when Mizael comes to the human world. Stares at his human skin with its feathered-up hair and its facial markings and its stupid, fancy clothes.
He’s disgusted by it.
It’s a lonely feeling, the disgust; lonelier even than the resentment that has driven him for so long. He is out from Mizar’s shadow - or rather, out from its light, free to shine unhindered - only to be shrouded instead in the cloying mess that is this human body he’s had to take on. Mizael’s light no longer shines out to hide his own but his has stopped shining, too.
Still.
It’s a good opportunity, isn’t it? Strike while his blinding-star is trapped in the flesh and muck of a human skin - because he’s stuck too, but he has learned the intricacies of humanity and knows Mizael will overestimate and underestimate it in the wrong places - and then when he can return to the song and star-fire that truly composes them, he’ll shine alone and unhindered.
It’s easy enough, in the end, to catch Mizael. He takes down Alit and Gilag - unfortunate, perhaps, collateral, but Alit had connected too well with his subordinate and Gilag... well, that was no different than taking down a rampaging beast in the end, with Gilag’s urge for revenge against the person named by Alit.
(an idiotic mistake, because Mizael’s light - and the need to snuff it out - is as blinding to him as to anyone looking for his starlight in the heavens, and he’d let himself slip in such a basic way because his focus had been too intense)
Well. Unfortunate, but necessary in the end. And then Mizael is easy to lure back to the human world. A stolen Lapis, a brief flash of his fire and he feels it, feels the way Mizael’s light flares at the feel of him even through the worlds and oh, oh, he practically has to tear the Lapis off of himself because he wants to keep it, wants to keep feeling that connection vibrating across the worlds and skittering off their stars and the deep black cold of the universe around them.
(they’re so small, so very tiny and his light sings and sings until it’s a scream and he doesn’t understand, why does it hurt why is it that after such a short time in the human world - barely a second in the star-fire life of a Barian - Mizar’s light has become something he craves rather than the biting, driving force that he once resented with such force?)
(he still wants to rip it from Mizael, still wants to tear into the viscera of Mizael’s human flesh and rip out his still-beating heart to see if his light dwells somewhere within it even in these forms, but after that he wants to fold Mizael’s light into his own and cherish it, rather than the destruction he’d had planned before now)
(that will be fitting though, he tells himself, that his light will become that which blinds Mizar’s light behind it, instead of the reverse)
When his head has stopped ringing and he can open his eyes, Mizael stands before him in the human flesh, wide-eyed and staring, breathes out you and takes a step forward and he’s an idiot, bright and blazing but so stupid.
Stupid because he’s surprised when he’s slammed into the ground. Mizael’s eyes get even wider and his mouth slips open to let out a sharp gasp of pain as his head collides with the dirt.
The ground is hard, and when he reaches behind Mizael’s head to wrench it up, his hand comes away stained with blood. He can’t help, then, but to lift it to his mouth, to taste the evidence of Mizael’s current humanity. To taste the heat, nothing compared to their true fire, the copper-salt taste of humanity’s pain. And then he’s grabbing at Mizael’s face, scoring red lines with his nails into the red marks already there and listening to the way Mizael cries out - such a tuneless, grating noise, nothing like the song it ought to be. He’s biting and clawing and Mizael seems too stunned to fight him off, either by the blow to the head or by the simple fact of who he is - he can’t tell, when he should be able to read it in Mizar’s light like an open book - so he keeps it up, keeps hurting and feels the blood welling up from under his teeth and nails and the way the fabric of Mizael’s clothes rips surprisingly easily in his roaming hands.
(it is good it is too much for his human body but it is good, it is wonderful and--)
And then suddenly he’s aware and it’s not, it’s not, how could he ever have thought something in this stinking, fleshy body were even good, let alone wonderful, so he’s leaping to his feet and taking great staggering steps back and spitting onto the floor and then he’s gone, gone before Mizael can do more than sit up.
(Shingetsu! he hears Mizael cry after him as the portal takes him, and Arkol spits his disgust again when he lands, that Mizael cannot name him by star, even, let alone name, and resorts instead to the name that belongs only to his meat)